Some mornings are hard.
No… some mornings are just plain terrible!
There’s no other way to put it.
And since my hormones started to change 10 years ago, it’s gotten a lot worse.
But there are saving graces to the rollercoaster that is menopause.
And discoveries that have made this time of my life
the most powerful and free.
These are what I want every menopausal woman to celebrate this Independence Day.
Here's my story --
Too many mornings, before I even open my eyes
I’m assaulted by the what-I-didn’t-dos,
Or the oh, SH*T, I-forgots.
Yesterday’s slip-ups are bad enough,
But by now, I have years of could-have-beens.
Add to that the might-bes, the what-ifs
and -- starting a new business in my 50’s –
the I-CAN’T-figure-this-outs!, and the I-just-don’t-know-hows!
The worst part is that every one of these thoughts sounds like the Truth,
subtle murmurings of some oracle from Delphi.
It’s easy to get lost in it all,
Pull the sheets up over my head and try to ignore the crazies.
Or get lost in my phone to silence the ranting.
These morning terrors, as I call them, don’t make the list of the usual shifts during menopause.
But anxiety and depression are common to many women as their hormones change.
Without the heavy doses of estrogen to mitigate our minds’ obsessive tendencies, those first thoughts in the morning, or any other time, can easily turn toward fear and regret.
most mornings my terrors let up if I just put my feet on the floor.
Then I can make sense of the diatribe
and get on with my day.
It’s taken me years of struggle to recognize what the mind does, unchecked.
And how to sort the helpful from just plain fiction.
But that can be tough when I’m sleep deprived and alarmed by frequent memory lapses.
Then it’s easy to fall victim to the fear…
“I just can’t keep it all together like I used to!”
And, Dear Women, there’s some truth to that.
But here’s why I think the insights gained in menopause have the potential to make this time the most powerful of my life, and perhaps yours, too:
So, it’s your turn… What did I miss? How have you turned a menopause challenge into deep self-care? What wisdom have you gleaned from these changes? PLEASE share, Dear Sisters.
I believe menopause is meant to be a joyous maturing into ourselves. And in a culture that idolizes youth, we need all the reminders we can get – and give to one another. So share your struggles and let's SING YOUR PRAISES!
If you're like me, you could use a weekend at the beach right about now.
...a few days lounging with your sisters,
eating healthy, laughing long, and going deep.
Maybe you'd like to wake in the morning a few steps from the beach, sand between your toes, learning a few simple yet powerful practices to keep your spark ignited and alive.
How about a little sun (OH, YEA!) and the sunshine you feel inside when you're in touch with the joy of your own innate beauty,
remembering your sensual self and the pleasure you were meant to live?
That's the reward for taking time away!
Every one of us needs reminders, especially now, living in this soul-crushing and pleasure-depleting world!
My dear friend and embodiment coach Shane Kulman and I are putting the final touches on our Magical Feminine Summer Solstice Retreat at the Beach June 16-18...
That's just around the corner.
But maybe you've been waiting.
Trying to make it through on your own.
We just so happen to have a few spots left.
Are you tempted?
Just a short ferry ride from lower Manhattan,
Rockaway is funky and fun!
The beach house is, too!
We'll be touching back in with our sensual selves...
and playing together in ceremony and silliness on the beach, around a fire, in circle, and out about town.
Sound like fun?
Click here to see the Rockaway waves rolling in and more about the weekend!
Most of us don't do much ceremony or ritual.
Traditional religion's rigidity sullied much of the sacredness of these ancient and indispensable practices.
But people were working ritually with Nature's elements -- earth, air, water, and fire -- farther back than we can know.
Here's the good news!
A ritual is simply an intentional practice that's repeated. You create the meaning... and the magic!
Without our conscious action on the physical plane we tend to float through life, losing focus and reverence for our own deeper selves.
At least I do.
Each month with the moon's cycles -- and every season -- I've found it powerful to create ritual for letting go of what's just gone down and creating the future I most want.
Maybe you do something like this, too?
When I look back, there's always some left-over flotsam I need to shake off
-- messes I've created, or habits or beliefs still standing in the way of my joy.
I like to use fire to ceremonially burn away and release the stagnant goo holding me back.
Then I sanctify my intentions for the days and weeks to come, empowering my dreaming into specific promises to myself, simple actions I'll take to make them real in my daily life.
There's wisdom in setting aside this kind of time to honor and empower ourselves.
And... when ceremony is done in community and coincides with the earth's cycles,
that's when real magic can happen.
It's also why Shane and I have created this Magical Feminine Summer Solstice Retreat.
After such a difficult time, we deserve some powerful SUMMER conjuring!
No matter where you are on June 21st, don't miss out on the magic that your ancestors knew.
How will you let the upcoming summer solstice -- the longest day of the year -- empower your intentions for more purpose and pleasure?
Please share your ideas here! And be energized by the wise women of this community. Our words inspire!
If stress has you living in less joy than you know is your authentic essence, this is the time to let the summer sun ignite your bliss. And enjoy!
I’m out here in my garden today because
I want to share with you one of the simplest and most powerful ways to open to more support and love. And it only takes 5 minutes!
I named my work Divining Beauty seven years ago because the beauty that we divine in ourselves doesn’t come from the external.
It comes from this deeper connection with our selves and the earth.
I’m sure you’ve seen women who at first impress you with their physical beauty. But as you come closer you really feel that lack of connection, that deeper beauty.
And then there are those women, regardless of their appearance who radiate such a beauty and aliveness in their being that they light up the world!
How do we connect more deeply with that source of magnetism and sustenance?
That’s what this week’s video is about.
Over the years I’ve found the three absolutely essential daily practices to keep me connected to my joy and aliveness.
But this Spring I’m letting Nature take me deeper into them all.
After you watch the video, please share in the comment section below how you divine your own deeper beauty. What are the practices you use to help you remember your connection? And how is Springtime giving you an extra boost?
Today will inevitably bring me some drama.
There's a stoplight on my way to town that seems to hold forever when I'm in a hurry.
"This always happens to me. Someone should fix that stupid light!"
Or "Dammit. I did it again! Will I ever learn to give myself enough time?"
Lately I've noticed the stories I dream up,
either furious with the world or turning the knife on myself.
Crazy how the mind creates all this drama,
habitually choosing blame and anger to manage the yucky feelings inside.
Here's what's helped.
Mary is an intimacy coach, sensuality educator, spiritual counselor, and writer who leads retreats around the globe and privately coaches women and couples. All at the intersection of the sacred and the senses.